Saturday, February 9, 2008

cute one, a little long but a happy ending

THE CURTAIN RODS

 She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and
suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her
things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their
beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background
music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle
of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and stuffed
half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the all
of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for
the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried
everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were
checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air
fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set
off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days,
and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the
house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any
longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could
not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually,
even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they
had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new
place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told
her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that
she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her
divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a
price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only
if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within
the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched
the moving company pack everything to take to their new home -
including the curtain rods.



I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

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