The Hair Cut

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asks
about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you.
I'm doing community service this week.' The florist is pleased and leaves

the shop.

When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank
you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the
barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing
community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

T he next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank
you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay

his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm

doing community service this week.' The Congressman is very happy

and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen
congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our

country and the members of our Congress.

Vote carefully this year.

Cat bowling

Normally I am against animal cruelty  but this is fun
my first score was 83, but I am getting better!

http://www.brandextract.com/catbowling/

Happy Halloween and a hat tip to anewdawn 
 

 

Some Punny Lines...

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

20. A backward poet writes inverse.

21. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

23. Don't join dangerous cults; Practice safe sects!