Ventriloquist-blond joke

Ventriloquist

  A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night,
  he does a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his
  dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual
  dumb blonde jokes.

  Suddenly, a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her
  chair and shouts: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde
  jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women
  that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to
  do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you
  who keep women like me from being respected at work
  and in the community, and from reaching our full potential
  as a person. because you and your kind continue to
  perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but
  women in general... and all in the name of humor!"

  The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize,
  and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister...
  I'm talking to that little shit sitting on your knee!"

 

h/t from Auntie Dee

Little Kenny ***WARNING - ADULT THEMES **

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A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER

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lost a finger

The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.

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Irish Humor

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
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Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
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__,_._,___

Irish Humor

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
He say s, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news.  My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
" She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun..' "